Sunday, May 10, 2009

New Complaint



Okay, it's been a few weeks. I need to gripe about something. What is it with people who insist on filling their drinks at fast food places as if it's brain surgery? For petes sake, it should not take anyone who doesn't live in a group home more than 1 minute to operate the machine and put the top on. It's just not that hard.

Yet Beverage Brain Surgeons seem to be everywhere. They take a full minute to get the ice to precisely the right level. Then they carefully consider which drink they'd like, then change their minds, then go for it but are then confounded by the controls. Does it have a button or a bar to push the cup on? A full inspection must be performed. Lord help us if they try to get the water but fruit punch comes out. Next comes the carbonation which quickly overwhelms the Beverage Brain Surgeon because the actual level of the liquid may just be 1 milli-meter below the top and they don't want to get ripped off by Ronald McDonald. By this point a que is building up behind them but 3 more iterations of fizz n' wait come and go before they're happy.

Next comes the ultimate beverage challenge: fitting that tricky lid on the top, which takes another full minute. The truly insane then continue to block access to the machine while they carefully unwrap and insert a straw at just the right depth in the drink and sample the flavor. Honestly, it's enough to make me want to carry around a megaphone. All we need here is a little courtesy, Beverage Brain Surgeons. You get a free refill anyway; just come back. You'll be fine.

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